50th Birthday Poems Jokes
Here are some funny poems and jokes for someone who's about to turn fifty. Over the hill jokes are usually expected at a birthday party for someone who's just reached this milestone age.
- I much prefer being over the hill to being under it. - Bruce Lansky
- Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles Schulz
- The Senility Prayer
God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the people I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference. - Anonymous
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- The cardiologist's diet:
if it tastes good, spit it out.
- Paulina Borsook
- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
- The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
- First you forget names,
then you forget faces,
then you forget to pull your zipper up,
then you forget to pull your zipper down.
- Leo Rosenberg
- I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
then pick up the paper and read the"o-bits."
If my name isn't there, then I know I'm not dead.
I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.
- May you live all the days of your life.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age ..... and isn't breaking any laws.
- At my age I don't care if my mind starts to wander- just as long as it comes back again.
- Mike Knowles
- Don’t be sad you are another year older… Be grateful for another year lived!!
- Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.
- Glenn Dorenbush
- Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
- Men are like wine; some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- When you can finally afford the rings you want, you'd rather no one noticed your hands.
- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
- Instead of thinking of 50th birthday party ideas, you’re talking about the price of gasoline!
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You take a metal detector to the beach.
- You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember how old you are!
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
- Henny Youngman
- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- Inside every older person is a younger person– wondering what the hell happened.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- You forgot that you already had your 50th birthday.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
- “He that is not handsome at 20, nor strong at 30, nor rich at 40, nor wise at 50, will never be handsome, strong, rich or wise.” - George Herbert
- You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
If you come up with any funny Happy 50th Birthday poems or jokes that you'd like to share with us, we'd be happy to put them on our website!